While reflecting over the course of my life, it recently occurred to me that not only do I have a barrage of incredible stories, but also that I'm damn good at telling them. As such, I've put up this website to share my humor, insight and wisdom with the rest of the world.

My stories span the gambit from drinking, girls, martial arts, philosophy, science, writing, vomiting, religion, and projectile diarrhea. If you are interested in any of these things, read on. If not, you're not worthy to be on this site and you need to go back to www.dipshitvirgin.com where you can cyber-masturbate with all the other Klingon-speaking tools.

If you stay, remember one thing. Unless you're a genius, I am smarter than you, so try not to do anything stupid like disagree with me. As I post more and more, these stories will come to contain the sum total of all human knowledge, (if you can read between the lines), and I'll not tolerate any crybaby hippie pseudo-intellectuals trying to match brain pans with me.

Accept me, and you will prosper. Deny me, and you will be destroyed.