The following is a post I received awhile ago on Mike’s Forum.  My response is somewhat overdue, but, FUCK you!  I’ve been dealing with a wicked case of Booty Crickets, (or rather, a wicked “story” about Booty Crickets).

 

As such…

 

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Subject:            Navy Seals

 

Name:              poopoo

 

Date Posted:     Sep 34, 04 – 4:11 PM

 

Message:          Mike, you have said that you think the military hand to hand combat systems are not that impressive.  Do you think you could take on a Navy SEAL?  One on one fistfight, of course.

 

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Well, poopoo, the simple answer is “yes”, but I wanna qualify that answer with my feelings about military hand-to-hand stuff as a whole.

 

First of all, basic training for all branches of the armed services is not that long.  Navy Seals may train longer than most, but we’re talking about months here, and it takes YEARS to become an expert in unarmed combat. 

 

This varies according to what’s being taught, (a guy training Gracie Jiu-jitsu for eight months or more would probably ruin the average redneck’s shit), yet, USEABLE skill- on a neural/physical level- doesn’t come overnight… it’s a lifetime endeavor.

 

Think about it.  A competition level gymnast trains several hours a day- and SPECIFICALLY in gymnastics- to do what he/she does.  The same is true of professional golfers, or NFL football players, or circus tightrope walkers.  These are all neural/physical skills.

 

Granted, your average martial artist, (unless they compete professionally), trains two to four times a week, one to three hours a day- but that’s still a hell of a lot more than Billy Bob Noteeth who signed on for a nine week stint at some Marine base in Florida. 

 

My old graduate school buddy, Neil Khineal, went into the army, and I questioned him thoroughly about the things he learned in basic training, (not to mention that my martial arts lifestyle has put me in contact with similar people for twenty six years now).

 

Neil said he spent a grand total of about FIVE HOURS training hand to hand combat, and, while I love him, he couldn’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag.  Even if Navy Seals did ten times that, (which they don’t), it would only amount to about six months of “civilian” level tutelage, and that’s barely enough time to get your feet wet. 

 

What you have to keep in mind, is that Navy Seals, Green Berets, Army Rangers, etc., don’t train to beat someone’s ass in a bar, or on the street, or in a library.  No, they train to beat someone’s ass on the field of battle.  They master explosives, evasion, weapons and tactics, surveillance, reconnaissance, and a whole host of other things that have nothing to do with a one-on-one fisticuff.

 

Again, think about it.  If YOU were a Navy Seal, would you rather endure the tedious process of learning how to dislocate a guy’s shoulder from the side mount?  Or would you rather learn how to fire coolly into a mass of charging Iraqi’s without exhausting your ammunition on nothing.  Personally, I’d rather learn how to fire my weapon, or drive a tank, or remain hidden in a field for three days until my sniper target finally came into range… and the government rightly feels the same.

 

The general world consensus is that United States Military Personnel are total badasses…  Guess what, THEY ARE!!!  But not in a street fight.  The “fights” they engage in are totally different.  The skills they utilize are totally different.  And we- as American citizens- are damn lucky that’s the case.

 

This is not fourteenth century Japan, poopoo.  Wars are no longer fought with punches or kicks or swords or armor- with respect to the US, at least.  Wars are fought with technology, and “conventional” battle, (where skills like mine might actually come into play), are a thing of the past.

 

That being said, there ARE certain minefields that make Navy Seals people you don’t wanna mess with at your local tavern.  The first is mindset, which I’ve discussed in other posts.

 

One of my training partners is this little stocky guy named Charles.  Charles is predominately Kyle’s friend, but, since he’s also a student of [Super Asskicker’s], that makes him a friend of mine by proxy.  Charles is five foot seven, perhaps a hundred and sixty pounds.  Yet, he’s all muscle, and [Super Asskicker] has often commented on his freakish strength.

 

I’m fairly certain that I’m a better striker than Charles, and probably just as good of a grappler.  Still, despite the size advantage I have over him, Charles would most likely beat my ass in a street fight because of his mindset.  He’s one of those guys, (like my former workout buddy and now professional No Holds Barred fighter, Spencer Fisher), who simply WILL NOT GIVE UP. 

 

Whether you fishhook him, or gouge out an eye, or rip off his scrotum, Charles will keep fighting ‘till the fighting’s done, and that- augmented by his skill- makes him one of the most dangerous motherfuckers I’ve ever met.

 

I’ve encountered individuals with Charles’s mindset several times in my life, but most don’t have the pizzazz to back up the passion.  Navy Seals are like that.  Military people, in general, are systematically conditioned in basic training to GENUINELY BELIEVE that they cannot be stopped, and therein lies the great and powerful asset that makes going up against one of ‘em a gamble- even for someone like me.

 

A knockout is inescapable, but when you take somebody to the ground and put ‘em in an arm bar, and they wheeze, “Go ahead and break it, you son of a bitch!”, you know you’ve bitten off more than you might be willing to chew…

 

The second, final, and only other factor that lends truth to the “badassedness of military people in hand-to-hand combat” stigma, is conditioning.

 

Characteristically, Navy Seals are in phenomenal physical shape, (otherwise, they wouldn’t have made it through basic training).  This gives them an ENORMOUS advantage over the general civilian populous. 

 

For example, my cardiovascular stamina SUCKS right now due to work-related stress, an unhealthy lifestyle, and an ankle injury that put me out of commission a couple of months ago.  As such, if the fight goes longer than two minutes, (max), I might find myself on the receiving end of a prison style rectal-raping. 

 

Sure, I can hang with most hobby martial artists, but a super-conditioned Navy Seal could outfuck me HANDS DOWN, and therein lies an often neglected/yet extraordinarily paramount factor that few non-professional fighters consider. 

 

People, if you don’t have the skill to win quickly, you’d better damn sure have the lungs to win in the long haul.  Military opponents are rarely out-gassed, so remember that the next time you start mouthing off to a veteran of the Gulf War.

 

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That’s pretty much all I have to say as far as semantics.  I do not waver from the position that I would hand a Navy Seal his own ass in a street fight.  But I maintain realism because each person is different, and because that variety is the very thing that can jump up and bite you in the colon.