My First Hatemail, Part 2

After the first verbal beatdown I administered to True TKD, (aka "Bitch") he started talking new smack on The Forum. As promised, I am posting his rant exactly as it is... along with my play by play responses, of course. His part is in yellow, my responses are in blue.

(Note: if you haven't read the "My first hatemail" post on the main page, be sure and check it out first.)

Re: And another thing!

Name: True TKD

Date Posted: Jan 29, 04 - 8:47 PM

Message: Jeez, I go out of town for a while and I miss your entire tirade. Well allow me to retort.

Because you call yourself a writer but cannot express yourself without using all sorts of vulgar language/imagery, I will try to write the same way so you understand my point of view.

I can express myself without using all sorts of vulgar language and imagery, I just choose not to. Why? Because fuck you! That's why.

Firstly, you are a fucktard. And I mean that in the truest sense of the word.

What, exactly, is a fucktard? If we break the word down into its root components, we come up with fuck and tard. Fuck is usually considered a verb, (not that you'd know, you testicular void), but here you've used it as an adjective to describe the second part, tard. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume that "tard" is short for "retard", a term which is politically incorrect and offensive to the mentally challenged, (hate them too, eh Hitler? Who's next? Black people?).

Taken as a whole, "fucktard" therefore means a mentally challenged person used to have sex, or used to perpetuate the act of sex. Yikes! I guess that'd be a pretty good insult if it wasn't so creepy. I fear your familiarity with this term comes from personal experience, which is why I'll be reporting you to social services as soon as your chicken shit ass grows the balls to post your name.

I am not homophobic,

Oh yes you are, Grand Wizard TKD, and for reasons I outlined in my first response to you. I'll bet you put on a pointy white hat and burn crosses outside the Gay and Lesbian Rights Coalition headquarters. Seig Heil!!! Seig Heil!!!

...it just appears you have some issues that need to be worked out. After a good shrink session, maybe you'll be less inclined to go out and beat up drunk people (i.e. the person in the bathroom where you kneed him in the face, who was barely standing anyway). Good job on that one tough guy, Barney the big fucking purple dinosaur could have taken that chump out.

Not necessarily. Barney's short legs and abnormally low center of gravity would make it difficult for him to pivot with speed, thus, I doubt he could've pulled off that spinning hook. And lets get serious here. Barney's a bipedal DINOSAUR, so you can forget about him throwing knees at an upward angle into somebody's face. Anatomically, it just wouldn't work.

And let's not forget that the guy in that bathroom accosted me, it wasn't the other way around. I even blew him off the first time, and refrained from striking until HE grabbed ME and spun me around. Hopefully, the guy learned a valuable lesson... like not to come between a man and his hygiene.

Furthermore, you need to get your UFC/Pride fighters straight. Tito "Ortez" (or Ortiz as he prefers to spell his own name) was a junior college wrestler. He began training homojitsu/sub-wrestling after his first UFC fight.

Wow, I didn't realize you were doing an A&E Biography.

And Ortiz is an "excellent jiu-jitsu fighter". Give me a break, the only submissions he tries are wrestling based, i.e. neck cranks.

I used the term "jiu-jitsu" in my previous post to refer to groundfighting IN GENERAL. I figured that you wouldn't know the difference because most dumb-as-shit TKD guys are only familiar with the term "jiu-jitsu" (largely because of the Gracies). I see I was wrong. Either that or you immediately starting doing research on the web to give the appearance of knowing what you were talking about. Based on an asinine statement you make later, I think the latter is probably true. But, we'll get to that.

"Idontknowhisfirstname Sakuraba" generally likes to be called "Kazushi Sakuraba", as that is what his parents named him. Sakuraba a jiu-jitsu fighter, huh. Funny, I've never seen him fight with a gi.

Brazilian Jiu-jitsu fighters almost ALWAYS train with and without the gi. My brother is on the Relson Gracie competition team based in Arizona, and they do it both ways. Sakuraba's submissions are indeed jiu-jitsu based.

He is a pro-wrestler in Japan you shithead.

No shit. But again, his submissions are jiu-jitsu based. I know this because I know groundfighting.

And since we're discussing Sakuraba, he fought 4 Gracies that I can recall:

1. Royce - Outcome - Royce throws in towel because he could not take any more punishment

2. Renzo - Outcome - broken arm due to joint lock

3. Ryan - Outcome - decision to Sakuraba. Sakuraba controlled entire fight and even spanked Ryan during the fight (literally).

4. Royler - Outcome - ref stopped fight because Sakuraba had the kimura in so deep Royler was screaming in pain.

It would have been Rickson too, however, he wanted no part of Sakuraba after seeing what happened to his brothers/cousin. Keep wearing your Gracie pullover deuschbag (spelling?).

The Gracies are still a force to be reckoned with, and I will continue to respect them. Their apparent fall from grace occurred because they allowed their art to get out to EVERYBODY. Specifically, the lateral/circular hip movement they employ on the ground which made them so superior in the beginning.

I am an MMA/NHB fan.

Good for you. I'm a Martha Stewart fan, but it doesn't mean I can cook, nor do I have any skill at interior design.

So my friend, you need to watch a few more UFCs and Prides yourself and get your story straight.

I'll do that. Thanks.

Now you may ask, what does this have to do with true TKD... well listen up fucktard.

Okay, here comes the money shot. Wait for it... Wait for it... Wait for it...

Laugh if you want, but UFC and Pride would be dominated by a TRUE TKD fighter if it was truly an nhb match.

PFFFFFFT!!! (my coffee just went right out my nose) This statement is total horseshit. I have never seen a TKD technique employed in any NHB event, even by those that claimed to represent TKD. No spinning heel kicks, no double front kicks, no axe kicks, nothing. And those head kicks that HAVE been thrown, and HAVE actually worked, were Thai Kicks, (not TKD round kicks which begin with a "coil" or "chamber").

UFC and Pride have RULES to protect homojitsu people.

Like what? What rules would put a TKD guy at a disadvantage? Name one, specifically. The bread and butter of TKD is stand up, high line kicking to the head. All that is allowed.

In a REAL streetfight, one side kick to the solar plexus can knock most people down.

But, you can sidekick to the solar plexus in the UFC. What the fuck are you smoking?

While you are a superhuman drunk and can withstand any blow from a mortal, it may take you two kicks, or one kick and a punch to the face, whatever you prefer.

Well, yeah, if I was just standing there, but I don't tend to be that generous.

Anyway, add that to your website and don't change it or add any of your moronic statements to my original text.

Later, when I didn't immediately reply to the above barrage of stegosaurus shit, True TKD posted this:

Subject: Descado Scared?

Name: True TKD

Date Posted: Feb 1, 04 - 7:29 AM

Message: I guess I did it. I scared you away from your own forum.

I replied by informing this Butt Lord of the Rings that I just hadn't had time yet. I also pointed out that he hadn't emailed me the name of his school. Then I got this:

Open invitation any time, just let me know when you're coming to the Memphis area. I don't trust to put my e-mail/name as I don't need you putting me on any KKK e-mail list or call my house cursing in a drunken stupor in the middle of the night.

Yeah, that's what I thought, pussy.

If you did want to come here for a light, medium, or heavy sparring session, you're welcome to be my punching bag and I will be more than willing to tell you where we are.

Come where? By the way, I have family in Memphis, (I used to live there), so there's always the possibility that I will indeed have the opportunity to kick your ass with a boot made of flaming shark meat. It's something to think about before you talk anymore shit.

For a good indication of my skill, check out a few of the Memphis based instructors I've trained with. Two especially, Jeff Mullins (UFC judge) and Chad Chillicutt (who owns a Gracie Jiu-jitsu affiliate school).

[Apologies to Jeff and Chad if I mis-spelled your last names. It's been six years, after all]

You would have to agree to post what happens and how a true TKD person was able to defeat the great Descado.

I'm not the "great" anything. I'm just a guy who knows how to fight, standing up or otherwise. Yes, I've been doing it all my life... and yes, I have a shit load of natural ability... and yes, I'm built for speed and power... and yes, I've trained with some of the best in the world... but I don't claim to be the "great" Descado.

Wait. Ya know what? Scratch that. I AM great!!! In fact, I think I'm gonna go down to the tattoo parlor and get "bad motherfucker" inked down the length of my penis in two inch high letters, (I'll let you do the math on that one).

Now listen to me True TKD, you nutless wonder, it's not what you say that tips me off that you don't know shit, it's the way you say it. It doesn't matter if you do Tae Kwon Do or don't do Tae Kwon Do. The outcome of a fight has a hundred times more to do with the individual than the style, (there are exceptions to this, namely, not being able to fight on the ground. If you can't fight on the ground, someone like me will literally kill you- and with little effort).

And the more you say "True" TKD, the more you validate the point of my original post about why I hate Tae Kwon Do. It's shit. In fact, it's so shitty, that you have to constantly separate yourself from the fecal maelstrom by specifying that you do "True" TKD. What- is that opposed to "Fake" TKD, Ass?

With every word out of your mouth, you become more my slave. Soon the rebellion will be crushed and young Skywalker one of us!


				*The Chronicles of Descado* *My First Hatemail, Part 2*



	Home \| My New Years Eve \| The War of Marigold, Part 1 \| The War of Marigold, Part 2 \| Why all cats should die horribly... \| Headbutts good... Whiskey bad... \| If at first you don't succeed... \| JKD vs. Ninjitsu \| Things I hate that begin with "T" and end in "aekwondo" \| Adventures in Tae Kwon Do \| Battle at Zaxby's \| Fighting Alcoholic \| Don't send me chain letters!!! \| Descado for President \| The Asskicking Diary that never went anywhere... \| Jail... \| New "Rewritten" Chain Email \| Viva Las Gaygas \| Saturday Night Brawl \| My shit don't stink... but yours does!!! \| Night of the Black Mountain Nutriders \| The Parting of Ways... (newly re-added) \| John's Story... \| Tank and me: A heterosexual love story... \| The Worst Beating Ever \| Only the Booty Crickets know... \| Phil's Wedding \| Adventures in Greenville, Part 1 \| Adventures in Greenville, Part 2 \| Adventures in Greenville, Part 3 \| Adventures in Greenville, Part 4 \| Adventures in Greenville, Part 5 \| Love, and the soul... Part 1 \| Love, and the soul... Part 2 \| God DAMN, this story is long!!! \| Celebrity Bitches I Hate: Anna Nicole \| Irish Luck = World Domination \| The Long Awaited Party at Wild Bill's \| 3 clichés that piss me off \| Everybody was kung fu fighting... \| Going out






		After the first verbal beatdown I administered to True TKD, (aka "Bitch") he started talking new smack on The Forum. As promised, I am posting his rant exactly as it is... along with my play by play responses, of course. His part is in yellow, my responses are in blue. (Note: if you haven't read the "My first hatemail" post on the main page, be sure and check it out first.) Re: And another thing! Name: True TKD Date Posted: Jan 29, 04 - 8:47 PM Message: Jeez, I go out of town for a while and I miss your entire tirade. Well allow me to retort. Because you call yourself a writer but cannot express yourself without using all sorts of vulgar language/imagery, I will try to write the same way so you understand my point of view. I can express myself without using all sorts of vulgar language and imagery, I just choose not to. Why? Because fuck you! That's why. Firstly, you are a fucktard. And I mean that in the truest sense of the word. What, exactly, is a fucktard? If we break the word down into its root components, we come up with fuck and tard. Fuck is usually considered a verb, (not that you'd know, you testicular void), but here you've used it as an adjective to describe the second part, tard. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume that "tard" is short for "retard", a term which is politically incorrect and offensive to the mentally challenged, (hate them too, eh Hitler? Who's next? Black people?). Taken as a whole, "fucktard" therefore means a mentally challenged person used to have sex, or used to perpetuate the act of sex. Yikes! I guess that'd be a pretty good insult if it wasn't so creepy. I fear your familiarity with this term comes from personal experience, which is why I'll be reporting you to social services as soon as your chicken shit ass grows the balls to post your name. I am not homophobic, Oh yes you are, Grand Wizard TKD, and for reasons I outlined in my first response to you. I'll bet you put on a pointy white hat and burn crosses outside the Gay and Lesbian Rights Coalition headquarters. Seig Heil!!! Seig Heil!!! ...it just appears you have some issues that need to be worked out. After a good shrink session, maybe you'll be less inclined to go out and beat up drunk people (i.e. the person in the bathroom where you kneed him in the face, who was barely standing anyway). Good job on that one tough guy, Barney the big fucking purple dinosaur could have taken that chump out. Not necessarily. Barney's short legs and abnormally low center of gravity would make it difficult for him to pivot with speed, thus, I doubt he could've pulled off that spinning hook. And lets get serious here. Barney's a bipedal DINOSAUR, so you can forget about him throwing knees at an upward angle into somebody's face. Anatomically, it just wouldn't work. And let's not forget that the guy in that bathroom accosted me, it wasn't the other way around. I even blew him off the first time, and refrained from striking until HE grabbed ME and spun me around. Hopefully, the guy learned a valuable lesson... like not to come between a man and his hygiene. Furthermore, you need to get your UFC/Pride fighters straight. Tito "Ortez" (or Ortiz as he prefers to spell his own name) was a junior college wrestler. He began training homojitsu/sub-wrestling after his first UFC fight. Wow, I didn't realize you were doing an A&E Biography. And Ortiz is an "excellent jiu-jitsu fighter". Give me a break, the only submissions he tries are wrestling based, i.e. neck cranks. I used the term "jiu-jitsu" in my previous post to refer to groundfighting IN GENERAL. I figured that you wouldn't know the difference because most dumb-as-shit TKD guys are only familiar with the term "jiu-jitsu" (largely because of the Gracies). I see I was wrong. Either that or you immediately starting doing research on the web to give the appearance of knowing what you were talking about. Based on an asinine statement you make later, I think the latter is probably true. But, we'll get to that. "Idontknowhisfirstname Sakuraba" generally likes to be called "Kazushi Sakuraba", as that is what his parents named him. Sakuraba a jiu-jitsu fighter, huh. Funny, I've never seen him fight with a gi. Brazilian Jiu-jitsu fighters almost ALWAYS train with and without the gi. My brother is on the Relson Gracie competition team based in Arizona, and they do it both ways. Sakuraba's submissions are indeed jiu-jitsu based. He is a pro-wrestler in Japan you shithead. No shit. But again, his submissions are jiu-jitsu based. I know this because I know groundfighting. And since we're discussing Sakuraba, he fought 4 Gracies that I can recall: 1. Royce - Outcome - Royce throws in towel because he could not take any more punishment 2. Renzo - Outcome - broken arm due to joint lock 3. Ryan - Outcome - decision to Sakuraba. Sakuraba controlled entire fight and even spanked Ryan during the fight (literally). 4. Royler - Outcome - ref stopped fight because Sakuraba had the kimura in so deep Royler was screaming in pain. It would have been Rickson too, however, he wanted no part of Sakuraba after seeing what happened to his brothers/cousin. Keep wearing your Gracie pullover deuschbag (spelling?). The Gracies are still a force to be reckoned with, and I will continue to respect them. Their apparent fall from grace occurred because they allowed their art to get out to EVERYBODY. Specifically, the lateral/circular hip movement they employ on the ground which made them so superior in the beginning. I am an MMA/NHB fan. Good for you. I'm a Martha Stewart fan, but it doesn't mean I can cook, nor do I have any skill at interior design. So my friend, you need to watch a few more UFCs and Prides yourself and get your story straight. I'll do that. Thanks. Now you may ask, what does this have to do with true TKD... well listen up fucktard. Okay, here comes the money shot. Wait for it... Wait for it... Wait for it... Laugh if you want, but UFC and Pride would be dominated by a TRUE TKD fighter if it was truly an nhb match. PFFFFFFT!!! (my coffee just went right out my nose) This statement is total horseshit. I have never seen a TKD technique employed in any NHB event, even by those that claimed to represent TKD. No spinning heel kicks, no double front kicks, no axe kicks, nothing. And those head kicks that HAVE been thrown, and HAVE actually worked, were Thai Kicks, (not TKD round kicks which begin with a "coil" or "chamber"). UFC and Pride have RULES to protect homojitsu people. Like what? What rules would put a TKD guy at a disadvantage? Name one, specifically. The bread and butter of TKD is stand up, high line kicking to the head. All that is allowed. In a REAL streetfight, one side kick to the solar plexus can knock most people down. But, you can sidekick to the solar plexus in the UFC. What the fuck are you smoking? While you are a superhuman drunk and can withstand any blow from a mortal, it may take you two kicks, or one kick and a punch to the face, whatever you prefer. Well, yeah, if I was just standing there, but I don't tend to be that generous. Anyway, add that to your website and don't change it or add any of your moronic statements to my original text. Later, when I didn't immediately reply to the above barrage of stegosaurus shit, True TKD posted this: Subject: Descado Scared? Name: True TKD Date Posted: Feb 1, 04 - 7:29 AM Message: I guess I did it. I scared you away from your own forum. I replied by informing this Butt Lord of the Rings that I just hadn't had time yet. I also pointed out that he hadn't emailed me the name of his school. Then I got this: Open invitation any time, just let me know when you're coming to the Memphis area. I don't trust to put my e-mail/name as I don't need you putting me on any KKK e-mail list or call my house cursing in a drunken stupor in the middle of the night. Yeah, that's what I thought, pussy. If you did want to come here for a light, medium, or heavy sparring session, you're welcome to be my punching bag and I will be more than willing to tell you where we are. Come where? By the way, I have family in Memphis, (I used to live there), so there's always the possibility that I will indeed have the opportunity to kick your ass with a boot made of flaming shark meat. It's something to think about before you talk anymore shit. For a good indication of my skill, check out a few of the Memphis based instructors I've trained with. Two especially, Jeff Mullins (UFC judge) and Chad Chillicutt (who owns a Gracie Jiu-jitsu affiliate school). [Apologies to Jeff and Chad if I mis-spelled your last names. It's been six years, after all] You would have to agree to post what happens and how a true TKD person was able to defeat the great Descado. I'm not the "great" anything. I'm just a guy who knows how to fight, standing up or otherwise. Yes, I've been doing it all my life... and yes, I have a shit load of natural ability... and yes, I'm built for speed and power... and yes, I've trained with some of the best in the world... but I don't claim to be the "great" Descado. Wait. Ya know what? Scratch that. I AM great!!! In fact, I think I'm gonna go down to the tattoo parlor and get "bad motherfucker" inked down the length of my penis in two inch high letters, (I'll let you do the math on that one). Now listen to me True TKD, you nutless wonder, it's not what you say that tips me off that you don't know shit, it's the way you say it. It doesn't matter if you do Tae Kwon Do or don't do Tae Kwon Do. The outcome of a fight has a hundred times more to do with the individual than the style, (there are exceptions to this, namely, not being able to fight on the ground. If you can't fight on the ground, someone like me will literally kill you- and with little effort). And the more you say "True" TKD, the more you validate the point of my original post about why I hate Tae Kwon Do. It's shit. In fact, it's so shitty, that you have to constantly separate yourself from the fecal maelstrom by specifying that you do "True" TKD. What- is that opposed to "Fake" TKD, Ass? With every word out of your mouth, you become more my slave. Soon the rebellion will be crushed and young Skywalker one of us!



		*Hatemail*