Everybody was kung fu fighting...

June 21, 2005

What follows is an email I got yesterday, and my response to a videotaped street fight:

***

Hey Mike, I've been enjoying your site for a long time, but never e-mailed you because, well, I'm not a fighter, and martial arts seem to be the main focus of your site's community.

So, I found this clip of a street fight...

Yeah, I know... you've been there, done that, got the scars- just an average street fight with untrained people sloppily throwing punches and stumbling around. BUT!!! This video is interesting... one of the guys involved does some Chinese style, (I think, I might be lying), and it WORKS. Since I know you're not a fan of employing traditional martial arts in real-life situations, I thought you'd like to see this, (if you haven't already), and give your thoughts on it.

http://poststuff4.entensity.net/062005/media.php?media=fight.wmv

Anyway, I'd like to hear your opinion on what went down. (The quality is pretty bad, but, you can still see what's happening.)

***

Hey yourself, Chad,

Yeah, I saw that clip a few days ago on www.bullshido.com, and it’s an AWESOME display of the difference between martial art and martial skill. The style the guy in the red shirt attempted to employ is indeed Chinese. If I’m not mistaken, it’s Hung Gar kung fu, a supposedly “hard” style that was most notably depicted in the movie, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story.

While that film was utter horseshit, and didn’t even come close to chronicling the actual life of Bruce Lee, Hung Gar got some celluloid time when Jason Scott Lee’s character of “Bruce” is challenged by the Chinese martial arts community for teaching his deadly skills to honkies. In the movie, he has to fight a fictional kung fu master named Johnny Sun, (played by John Cheung). Said master assumed the same posture as the guy in your clip- that of a horse stance with the strong side fist cocked at the belt or rib cage, and the other extended… presumably to facilitate a reverse punch.

Dramatics aside, I can’t tell you how stupid it was for the guy in the red shirt to do what he did. In fact, from now on I will refer to him as “Imbecile”.

To begin, that deep ass stance would’ve gotten him Thai kicked into the next millennium if he’d been fighting me- that is if I didn’t take him to the concrete and buttfuck him first. The only reason Imbecile didn’t get his shit ruined, is because his asinine antics confused his smaller, younger opponent.

No doubt fueled by the mass belief that fighting for real is the same as fighting in the movies, that ghetto looking kid hesitated, and stalled, and thus lost his momentum. Discounting the weight difference, (which was in Imbecile’s favor), Ghetto Kid might’ve actually won if he’d just started swinging when they were nose to nose. But no, he let Imbecile ‘get into his head’ with that ludicrous display of traditional nonsense, and thereby doomed himself to lose.

Regardless, where the untrained eye sees kung fu, I see redneck brawling. When they finally started fighting, (after much shoe tying, and pants adjusting, and impotent backfisting), Imbecile abandoned his Hung Gar and started swinging like a Mississippi sharecropper. They both did, and it was only by SHEER LUCK that Imbecile caught Ghetto Kid on the chin with the right-hand haymaker that knocked him out.

Don’t be fooled, Chad, because what allowed Imbecile his victory had nothing to do with kung fu. He swung with the same wide angled, straight-armed, kitchen sink punch with which YOU would’ve swung had you been in his situation. His training went right out the window when the shit hit the fan- chiefly because, well, he didn’t know how to fight. When “rushed”, Imbecile reverted to base human instinct, and his knockout blow was no more technical than that of a lion or an ape on the Discovery Channel.

Even a novice boxer, (of the same size and courage), with no more than a rudimentary understanding of footwork and straight-line punching, would’ve KILLED Imbecile just by keeping his fucking hands up… not to mention the unholy assraping that would’ve taken place had Ghetto Kid been a high school wrestler.

The point is, once they locked up, victory could’ve gone either way. Again, it was just dumb luck that the guy in the red shirt won.

I’ll premise what I’m about to say by emphasizing that there was no “skill” involved, but, Imbecile did indeed win by martial skill, not martial art. 99.9% of traditional kung fu, karate, whatever, is useless in a street fight, and even those who call themselves “masters” are just as susceptible to wild looping swings as a guy with no training at all. In a situation like that, it boils down to who gets lucky enough to connect first- if anybody connects at all.

Thanks for writing in, though. It gave me an excuse to analyze that clip. You keep reading, and I’ll keep writing.

Hugs and kisses,

-Mike

***

P.S. Before you sent that clip to me, Chad, I sent it to my brother Eric in Arizona, (who trains Gracie Jiu-jitsu under one of Relson Gracie’s affiliate instructors: http://www.defendu.com/gracie.htm).

This was his verbatim reply.

Mike,

I feel as if you have stolen 2 minutes of my life that I can never get back. “Dear Lord, please let me fight someone this stupid one day. And give me the strength to rape him in every way that a man can be raped. Amen.”

…Leave it to my little brother to sum up the entirety of my own feelings with but a single prayer.


				*The Chronicles of Descado* *Everybody was kung fu fighting...*



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		June 21, 2005 What follows is an email I got yesterday, and my response to a videotaped street fight: * Hey Mike, I've been enjoying your site for a long time, but never e-mailed you because, well, I'm not a fighter, and martial arts seem to be the main focus of your site's community. So, I found this clip of a street fight... Yeah, I know... you've been there, done that, got the scars- just an average street fight with untrained people sloppily throwing punches and stumbling around. BUT!!! This video is interesting... one of the guys involved does some Chinese style, (I think, I might be lying), and it WORKS. Since I know you're not a fan of employing traditional martial arts in real-life situations, I thought you'd like to see this, (if you haven't already), and give your thoughts on it. http://poststuff4.entensity.net/062005/media.php?media=fight.wmv Anyway, I'd like to hear your opinion on what went down. (The quality is pretty bad, but, you can still see what's happening.) * Hey yourself, Chad, Yeah, I saw that clip a few days ago on www.bullshido.com, and it’s an AWESOME display of the difference between martial art and martial skill. The style the guy in the red shirt attempted to employ is indeed Chinese. If I’m not mistaken, it’s Hung Gar kung fu, a supposedly “hard” style that was most notably depicted in the movie, *Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. While that film was utter horseshit, and didn’t even come close to chronicling the actual life of Bruce Lee, Hung Gar got some celluloid time when Jason Scott Lee’s character of “Bruce” is challenged by the Chinese martial arts community for teaching his deadly skills to honkies. In the movie, he has to fight a fictional kung fu master named Johnny Sun, (played by John Cheung). Said master assumed the same posture as the guy in your clip- that of a horse stance with the strong side fist cocked at the belt or rib cage, and the other extended… presumably to facilitate a reverse punch. Dramatics aside, I can’t tell you how stupid it was for the guy in the red shirt to do what he did. In fact, from now on I will refer to him as “Imbecile”. To begin, that deep ass stance would’ve gotten him Thai kicked into the next millennium if he’d been fighting me- that is if I didn’t take him to the concrete and buttfuck him first. The only reason Imbecile didn’t get his shit ruined, is because his asinine antics confused his smaller, younger opponent. No doubt fueled by the mass belief that fighting for real is the same as fighting in the movies, that ghetto looking kid hesitated, and stalled, and thus lost his momentum. Discounting the weight difference, (which was in Imbecile’s favor), Ghetto Kid might’ve actually won if he’d just started swinging when they were nose to nose. But no, he let Imbecile ‘get into his head’ with that ludicrous display of traditional nonsense, and thereby doomed himself to lose. Regardless, where the untrained eye sees kung fu, I see redneck brawling. When they finally started fighting, (after much shoe tying, and pants adjusting, and impotent backfisting), Imbecile abandoned his Hung Gar and started swinging like a Mississippi sharecropper. They both did, and it was only by SHEER LUCK that Imbecile caught Ghetto Kid on the chin with the right-hand haymaker that knocked him out. Don’t be fooled, Chad, because what allowed Imbecile his victory had nothing to do with kung fu. He swung with the same wide angled, straight-armed, kitchen sink punch with which YOU would’ve swung had you been in his situation. His training went right out the window when the shit hit the fan- chiefly because, well, he didn’t know how to fight. When “rushed”, Imbecile reverted to base human instinct, and his knockout blow was no more technical than that of a lion or an ape on the Discovery Channel. Even a novice boxer, (of the same size and courage), with no more than a rudimentary understanding of footwork and straight-line punching, would’ve KILLED Imbecile just by keeping his fucking hands up… not to mention the unholy assraping that would’ve taken place had Ghetto Kid been a high school wrestler. The point is, once they locked up, victory could’ve gone either way. Again, it was just dumb luck that the guy in the red shirt won. I’ll premise what I’m about to say by emphasizing that there was no “skill” involved, but, Imbecile did indeed win by martial skill, not martial art. 99.9% of traditional kung fu, karate, whatever, is useless in a street fight, and even those who call themselves “masters” are just as susceptible to wild looping swings as a guy with no training at all. In a situation like that, it boils down to who gets lucky enough to connect first- if anybody connects at all. Thanks for writing in, though. It gave me an excuse to analyze that clip. You keep reading, and I’ll keep writing. Hugs and kisses, -Mike ** P.S. Before you sent that clip to me, Chad, I sent it to my brother Eric in Arizona, (who trains Gracie Jiu-jitsu under one of Relson Gracie’s affiliate instructors: http://www.defendu.com/gracie.htm). This was his verbatim reply. Mike, I feel as if you have stolen 2 minutes of my life that I can never get back. “Dear Lord, please let me fight someone this stupid one day. And give me the strength to rape him in every way that a man can be raped. Amen.” …Leave it to my little brother to sum up the entirety of my own feelings with but a single prayer.